The End

I made it.

It has been months since my last post, but so much happened. I've realized that it's the times when we are most bored in life that we write and share the most (unless it's your job and then you write all the time no matter what!)
My St. Thomas adventure has ended, but I have a mind full of crazy memories I get to carry away. I was driven away by Hurricane Irma and for that, I am sad but grateful. I am sad for all the devastation and the stress of being uprooted and leaving almost everything behind, but grateful for so many things I can hardly number. I left almost everything, but what I left behind is now in the hands of others who need it more. I saw miracles and blessings that would never have come through any other means.
I want to share some thoughts I shared with my aunt, but first I'll post a quick synopsis of my life from the beginning of September until now:
Less than a week before the hurricane hit us on September 6th, my husband's mother came to visit us. We had such a wonderful couple of days with her before the storm, but she ended up enduring it with us. The storm lasted all day and all night. Our ceiling leaked, some water came through the front door, and it was HOT and MUGGY in our house, but we were fine. We had no electricity, and no running water (unless our landlord had his generator turned on and we could get a trickle.) We showered in the rain and mostly ate canned goods. Four days after the storm, we were able to make phone calls at certain times of the day. A week and 1/2 later, we flew on a little biplane to Puerto Rico and stayed with some members of our church. I was lucky enough to fly to Las Vegas on the Tuesday before Hurricane Maria hit, but my husband, his sister, and our brother-in-law had to stay for Maria. They were fine, and they got to fly home less than a week after the second hurricane. It was an emotional trauma for me, and it feels like that was all just a dream, but my husband and I are safe and together and that is a glorious blessing that many of our friends do not enjoy. It was all hard, but I am grateful for a new chapter of life.
Now I'd like to share some blessings that came with all of this. This is an email I wrote to one of my aunts who had asked me how the Gospel helped me get through the hurricane. I don't know how others got through, but it would have been so much worse for me without the truths I know:
     

 Before the hurricane reached us, I was anxious about it but not afraid. My mom called me the night before, worrying about all the things that could happen (roof blown off, tons of water coming in the house, stuff flying everywhere, etc.) but I wasn't afraid. I felt that staying in my apartment with my husband and his family who were with us was a safe thing to do. There were a few things that made going through a hurricane uncomfortable, but the blessings prepared for me were many. 

First of all, we had agreed the week before to dog-sit for a couple who were on vacation. They had two little dogs, and the apartment they were at was near the water and had lots of glass windows so we took them to stay with us during the hurricane. Having them with me was a blessing. They kept my mind occupied and gave me comfort; without them, I would have been so restless. (Funny enough, the one dog's name was Rainbow, and a few nights after the storm I saw the most beautiful rainbow; definitely reminders that God keeps His promises to us and will always give us something to hope for.) 

At one point during the storm, I was sitting on the floor with the dogs and I started to feel really sad, and I began to cry. I thought, "Why am I crying, I'm not scared?" Then I realized that my mom had no idea how I was, that she was probably watching the news and seeing the aftermath of the storm on other islands and was terrified. So I prayed that, however possible, she might know that I was safe and that she would feel comforted. Four days after the hurricane, I was able to call my mom and dad. I told my mom of that experience, and she told me that there was a time during the storm when she was watching the news, seeing all the devastation, and she'd felt so scared for me. She went to text me, even though she knew I wouldn't get it. When she looked at her phone, she noticed that the time was 4:44 pm and that her phone was at 44%. With me was my husband, his sister, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law, which made 5 of us. I know that the Lord speaks to each of us in whatever way He can, and for my mom, seeing those five "4's" let her know that all five of us were okay. I can't imagine how stressed and worried my mom would have been if she had not had that message from the Spirit. It is a truth to me that anyone with That gift has communication with anyone anywhere if they have the faith.

One other incredible blessing I saw was having a visit from President Henry B. Eyring. All the members who could went to our Branch building to greet him, and when he came, we were all asked to go outside to meet him. He shook my hand, asked my name, and proceeded to do the same with everyone there. When we were all in the chapel, we had a short meeting. Bishop Davies, Elder Klebingat, and the Puerto Rico mission president were there, too. They said that they had tried to hard to get to St. Thomas and that they almost weren't able to make it, (so even though the visit was short, it was so special.) When President Erying spoke, he said, "Get on to wherever He wanted you to get" and also "You're going to better places." (These two quotes from him meant so much to me, because I knew my husband and I were going to be leaving St. Thomas, and I had felt guilty for leaving; I had major survivor's guilt.) The thing that was most special about President Eyring's visit was that my mother-in-law (who was visiting us and got stuck on the island with us) got to meet him. She is not a member, but my husband, his brother and one of his sisters are converts to the church, so they are the only ones in their family. After President Eyring spoke, and he was leaving, my mother-in-law, Debbie, was smiling so big and kept saying, "That was so amazing! Wasn't that amazing, I have goosebumps, they won't go away!" Once again, I told my mom about our experience, and she told me that when she had learned  Debbie was going to visit us, my mom prayed that she would have a spiritual experience. Apart from meeting a Prophet, she went to church with us twice, saw the kindness and helpfulness of all the members, and when we were leaving, our branch president said to her, "You're going to be our next member." 

Through all of this, I felt -I knew- that the Lord lets bad things happen so that He can bless us in ways we need, ways He never could if our lives were picture perfect. He has a plan for each of us, and He will put us back on track when we stray if He knows we will let ourselves be changed. 

The Gospel we know is a spiritual, mental, and physical lifesaver. Without the Gospel, I would probably still be in St. Thomas because it was through the resources and kindness of a few members that I was able to come home. They gave me transportation, food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to stay, and friendship. Without this true Gospel of Jesus Christ, I would likely not have recognized the blessings I received and some I may not have received at all. I realized that nothing in this life really matters, except eternal families. Even if I or my husband or any of my family had died, I have the knowledge that we are not gone forever, that we will see each other again after this life, this stepping stone in God's great plan of happiness. Small decisions, like what to eat, what movie to see, what to wear, what to buy, do not really matter. STUFF doesn't matter, and I have this attitude because of the Gospel. There are people who don't know what we know, and whenever they lose their fancy/treasured/expensive things, they are devastated. We all are disappointed when we lose things. But it is saving knowledge, to know that we will all die someday and when we do, we can''t take anything but the knowledge we've attained, and hopefully our families we have been sealed to. I know this is the true Gospel. I know it, and I will never not know it. Nothing can separate me from the Love of Christ. I know that is the same for you and every person on this earth, because we are each a beloved child of the God of all creation. No matter the tragedy, there is a way through it, if we are willing to trust and follow.

https://www.facebook.com/MormonNewsroom/videos/10155232385987013/

https://vimeo.com/236350582?outro=1&ref=fb-share

Life

Life is amazing! And I'm not just talking about my life, but about all the living things in God's great world.

Last Saturday, I had the amazing privilege of riding on a chartered boat to bays around the island of St. John to snorkel with three wonderful families from my church. To begin with, I had not planned to snorkel...at all! In fact, I almost didn't go because I felt so bad that Trent had to work and I didn't want to go without him, but he sincerely urged me to go. I was also anxious about watching the 187th annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which I would miss if I went. Luckily, it is all recorded and available to view later, so I had no good excuses not to go!

Now, if you know me, you know that I am claustrophobic and afraid of swimming too far out in the ocean. The thought of things like jelly fish, stingrays, or any creepy, crawly sea critters makes me extremely uncomfortable. So again, I'm saying that even though I decided to go on this day trip meant for snorkeling, I was just going to stay on the boat the whole time. But that didn't happen.

The start of the trip was so lovely. I had not been on a boat in a while (a year) and being out on the wide, blue ocean under a big sky full of fluffy white clouds and sunshine made my heart and soul so happy. I forgot how much I really do love being on the ocean. I love being on it more than in it! As we rode about 20 minutes, we passed lots of beautiful cliffs and amazing houses near the beaches. I was really amazed to find that the foliage on many of the non-inhabited islands was just about identical to what you would find off the coast of California, and it was all comforting to see. (What is really strange is the amount of cactus you can find: it is everywhere!)

When we got to our first location, Salt Pond, everyone started grabbing their snorkel gear and hopping into the water. My friend, Tanya, who I trust, also got into the water, as well as all the children. So I decided that if they could all do it, I had no reason not to. It took me a few minutes, sitting on the edge, before I slowly lowered myself into the clearest blue water and started swimming. I was terrified. Looking back, it's kind of funny, because there wasn't much around me, just short, patchy sea grass and some little fish. But I was scared and a little cold so I was shivering like crazy and through my breathing tube it probably sounded like Darth Vader, I was breathing so loud! Within my first minute of being in the water I found a sea turtle. When I saw it, I had a brief feeling of peace and wonder. Somehow, that turtle made me feel a little bit safer. I thought, "If a peaceful creature like that can be here, I am probably safe." And that is what I had to keep saying the whole time I was in the water. It was my mantra, I guess; " You are safe, you are safe, no danger." So I kept going! I next saw what are called Ballyhoos, little silvery fish with long, blue snouts that swim near the surface. When I brought my head up to find anyone else, Tanya invited me to swim over by the reef. Now, the whole time I snorkeled that day, I never went totally under the water, only stayed at the surface, and even being on the surface -kept afloat by a pool noodle- I was about 10 feet above the floor and I still couldn't bring myself to swim over the coral! So I stayed at the edge, viewing the fish. There were so many kinds of all different colors! Soon, someone was calling out to us to come see the "squid." I did but didn't want to see it, but when I got to it, I found it wasn't exactly what I expected. It was cute and little and later we discovered that it was actually a cuttlefish (which is not cute up close, haha!) Then, I swam of the coral, little by little, and saw some beautiful fish! My favorites were the foureye butterfly fish and the bluehead wrasse. When I surfaced again, I talked to Tanya for a minute and then all of a sudden I found myself in the middle of a chase: a thousand tiny fish jumped out of the water all around me at the same time, one direction then another, with a ballyhoo on their tail! I said, "Woah, did you see that?!," but somehow Tanya missed it!  After the coral, I went back to see more turtles. I could only find the one, but I got to watch it swim up to the surface for some air. When all were ready to go, we headed back to the boat. On our way, Tanya yelled to me "Hey Liz, check out the stingray." And I did. I stopped dead and stared it in the face (I'm still about 10 feet above the floor.) I watched it flip its stinger up and down and ruffle it's flappers in the sand. He looked so angry! They all look so menacing to me! I was frozen and wanted to swim away but I didn't want to turn my back on him. I felt myself shaking more and on the verge of tears when I heard Steve Irwin's voice in my mind telling me something like "You are as afraid of him as he is of you. He's not going to hurt you. It's alright." I don't know how, but I swam away from that stingray, still not enchanted, but somewhat conquerer of my fear. And everyone thought I was just fine out there! Tanya could see the fear in my eyes when she invited me over to the coral, but no one else even suspected!

After that, we went to a place called Hurricane Hole, so named because ships and boats anchor there during storms because it is fairly protected. Here, we were surrounded by mangrove trees, so no sandy beach but lots of life. We found a bunch of starfish, but I didn't (still don't) think they were alive because they were stiff and not moving. Someone swam down and brought one to the surface for everyone to see. Tanya's husband put one on my head, and even though I squealed a little I was okay. Now, if it were wiggling, that would be a different story! Over by the mangroves, there was tons of long, red coral which I was told is fire coral. It burns/stings if you touch it but that's not a problem if you stay 5 feet away all the time. One of the most beautiful things I saw here was a school of tiny fish that were basically tiny rainbows! They were striped horizontally from top to bottom, blue, green, yellow, orange! For a while, I thought that was their normal body color but I quickly realized that being a naturally silvery or translucent color, they reflected the rainbows made by the sunlight refracting in the water! All around were thousands of little rainbows! It was a happy thing to see! After that, while swimming through deeper water, I noticed the rays of sunlight streaming from the surface at an angle to the ocean floor. It was so amazing. Just before we all got back on the boat, someone brought up a conch for us to see. I have seen the shells, but I had never before seen the squishy creature that lives inside it. It wasn't anything too exciting, but for me it was fascinating.

We had lunch at another location after that, where we found a boat on which a guy lives and has a bar. It was so cool! It was a cute little house with real windows, beds, a bathroom, kitchen and sun deck with faux grass and beach chairs. I wanted to live in it! (Except, I would make it an ice cream and soda bar instead;)

Then, we went to a little island called Flanagan. This is where the most beautiful coral was. My favorite is the purple sea fans (I'm actually not sure what it is, but it is beautiful to me!) There we found two more cuttlefish, which were changing colors. There were so many different kinds of fish, it would take me days to name them all! But overall, for some reason, my absolute favorite thing I saw was the sea urchins. They are the strangest, coolest critters! I love how they wiggle their little spines! They just look like little ink splatters or scary bombs that you would find in a video game. They are scary but fascinating.

The next week was good, and Saturday the 8th, Trent, Casey and Will all had the day off so we took a ferry from Red Hook (the East end of the island) to Cruz Bay on St. John and hiked to Salomon Beach to snorkel. It was a good hike and the beach was worth it. I didn't see anything new, really, but swimming through schools of thousands of tiny fish was fun. This time I covered a lot of my skin with clothing because I still had tender skin from the weekend before.

After hiking back to the main town, we stopped at a place called Mongoose Junction, at a shop called St. John Scoops where they make homemade ice cream and waffle cones. It smelled so good! Trent and I got two scoops, one of hazelnut truffle and the other of honey lavender. I can't even describe it. It was a smooth, refreshing flavor. I had never tasted anything flavored with lavender, so I had to try it! It's not my favorite, but I definitely felt peaceful eating it.

The 1st was such a long day, but I loved it! It was not what I expected at all. I can hardly believe I wanted to get in the water! There was just so much to see! The only one bad thing about the day was, I didn't apply enough sunscreen. I applied twice, as much as I could -I thought- but the sun got me good. When I got home, spots on my shoulders and back and the whole backs of my thighs were redder than a tomato and felt like they'd been licked by a fire-breathing dragon! I applied tons of aloe vera, but I had to endure wearing clothes for the next few days. I could hardly sit! Even a week later, my legs were as red as Trent's brand new sunburn from snorkeling on the 8th, and SO ITCHY! Gross, I know, but even grosser was peeling off the sheets of skin, haha; I have never had a sunburn so bad. I am strongly looking into board shorts and a rash guard. Yes, I am going to be one of those women with funny tan lines:)

I am so grateful for the beautiful things God created for me to love and enjoy. I love all the colors, smells and feels the earth has to offer. I am grateful for the peace that fills my soul when I am out in the open air, among the trees and even in the ocean. It is true, "we live in a beautiful world"!

Salt Pond

Hurricane Hole (all the mangrove trees and blue water!)

 Flanagan Island

On the way home, everyone was so tired!

 Some guy owns this island!

The dome all the way to the right is a library!

(The pictures of the fish aren't mine. I need to take a waterproof camera next time!)

Ballyhoo

Bluehead Wrasse

Parrotfish, haha! (They are pretty big and they look funny but the colors are amazing!)

Purple Sea Fan

My very own snorkel gear!

 Saturday the 8th, on the ferry to St. John

Dock at St. John

The guys were way up ahead of us!

Cactus that act like vines!

Finally made it to Salomon Beach!

Getting on snorkel gear

Trent throwing trash at me, haha! (I love this picture:)

Safe from the sun in my garden gnome shirt and spandex tights!

It felt like something was biting me! 

Pinguin!

A cute little church

Looks like a palm tree and a cactus had a baby!

I love the steel drums!

Going back home (everybody is so tired here!)

 A strange, silver tipped leaf!

A horse who hates selfies (he kept turning away, it was difficult to get a good picture and I ruined this one with my face, haha!) I got to go groom some horses at a horse ranch on the east end of St. Thomas.