Fixing Things

 Unlike my previous posts, I would like to do a little bit of reflection and contemplation here. Specifically, I would like to address the nature of my post titled "Warmer."

Looking back at it, I understand that some of what I wrote may have been hurtful to some. I am sorry for that. I would like to elaborate on my intentions concerning that post:

I was hurting. I felt so depressed and was in such a state of despair that I was not in a mood to be happy or kind, but I wanted so badly to be happy and to have someone listen to my feelings and comfort me that I cried out for help in a desperate way, which was difficult for me to do. When a person is so depressed, they can feel angry and selfish, and they may do and say things they normally wouldn't, things that can hurt others. I knew that things would get better and I only meant to express raw feelings to show that they were there, that "you" are not the only one who goes through these kinds of things. Sometimes we get angry at or frustrated with people we love, but if we can recognize the source of those feelings and try to improve, things get better. That is all I meant to convey.

I grew up in a family that, for the most part, shows their feelings. When I am angry at my brother, for example, I tell him and let him know why. Sometimes he cares, other times he doesn't, sometimes it makes him angry, but we are honest with each other. And at the end of the day, we've had time to cool off, work through things and forgive. If we did not do this, things would continue to be broken and eventually they would fall apart in a massive breakdown. I believe that because of this, I have learned something about how to truly forgive. In Christ's church, we are taught that in order to be forgiven, we must admit that we are wrong, say we are sorry, make whatever repairs we possibly can, and then forsake our wrongs and move on, trying ever to be better. The only way we can fix things that have been broken is to examine them and work on them 'til they are repaired. It is the same with people. When I see a broken person, I want to help them. Sometimes that broken person is angry at me. When this happens, I pray, and by that prayer I can almost always find a way to at least help that person, even if only in a simple way. For some people, the best healer is time. But if you just look at that broken thing (or person) and do nothing but talk about it and be mad at it, it will stay broken. Unless you decide to do something about it or someone else comes and fixes it, it will continue trying to work or move forward in its broken way and eventually fall apart and need extensive repairs or restoration.

I think that fixing things is a difficult thing to decide to do. We live in a world of "disposable" and "replaceable" things, including plates, electronics, and even relationships and marriages. It is somehow easier to hold things in and let things get bad and just "deal with it" until eventually everything falls apart. It is much more difficult to fix things as soon as a problem is detected, but the results of this choice are much better and longer lasting. Easy decisions make life harder. Hard decisions make life easier. 

I understand that some people are okay to live this way. But as for me, I am not always afraid to confront problems. I so admire the kinds of people I have met who have been unafraid to give me counsel and also receive counsel from me. I admire every one of my missionary companions who ever shared with me the things I was doing that were bothersome, unnecessary, inefficient or irreverent. Because of those -what we call- "companionship inventories," we learned to trust one another, to be honest, to be brave, and to constantly improve ourselves. Whenever we failed to do this, we lost a portion of the Spirit, and we did not do so well in our missionary efforts. The key to it was that we shared our thoughts as honestly and as kindly as we could, showing an increase of love after through words of praise and encouragement. (Doctrine and Covenants 121: 41-44) It is absolutely possible to share criticism without permanent damage.

Right now in life, I am content. I have a husband who loves me and does great things every day. I have a nice house to live in, a bed to sleep on and a fridge to keep food in. I have a smart mind and I can accomplish many good things every day. Sometimes things go wrong and feelings get hurt, but those things are only tragedies if we let them wreak havoc in our lives. Each of us has the power to forgive, to change our weaknesses into strengths, to do better than we have done before, and to help someone in need, even our enemy. We are creatures of change and that is a wonderful thing!

With all of that said, I hope you enjoy this little bit of funny that I found. When I saw this lizard, the quote I shared is what immediately came to my mind. It comes from a ridiculous video, which I also have shared. It's not for everyone, but it is for someone like me:)

"That's how I lost my tail!" 

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmlQTw0-Bko&t=61s)

New Friends and Familiar Faces

This Sunday, Trent and Will got to come to church. We caught a safari bus to church and, because I decided to stay after for choir practice, we were given a ride by one of the awesome members of the branch, who also invited us to dinner that evening. I got to teach the lesson in Relief Society, about prayer. I didn't have enough time to share all I prepared (so bummed about that!) but all the women who where there thanked me after and said they felt the Spirit so I think I did okay. 

Later, Brother Martin picked us up and took us to their house for dinner. I loved being in their home and getting to know their family a bit. Their house is in the coolest spot with an amazing view. We got to eat enchiladas and play a fun game, as well as join in their family scripture and prayer. They also gave us a king mattress and bedding they didn't need! I really can't say enough about how good the people here have been to us.   

Trent and Brother Martin on the deck.

 Night view of houses across the harbor.

Monday was a special day. It started a little slow but wonderful things were discovered. Trent, Will and Casey went to the gym early and I stayed home (slept in after a late night of talking with my beautiful mom about life, trials, and accidents we'd caused involving the deaths of animals.) After breakfast, I tried to call the number on a business card about a job but the reception was bad so I went outside. And who did I find? Little Pepper Jack was there...EATING FOOD! I was so happy to see that she is alive and well, and that I didn't kill her by feeding her coconut! After that, I was also excited to hear from my mom about the finding of names of ancestors we'd been searching for for a long time! I searched the names on familysearch.org and found pictures that made me cry for joy. It is a beautiful, sweet thing to learn about who and where you come from. To find "missing" relatives and ancestors who share your looks, talents and interests gives a person a great sense of belonging and peace. At least, those things give me peace.

I put water on the food to make it soft; she likes it better that way.

Tuesday, I met my uncle, Chris, at McDonald's for breakfast! He took a catamaran from Florida to Tortola to its new owner and took a ferry to St. Thomas to catch a flight back home. It was so cool to see a familiar face and get to show him around a bit. Trent had to work but still got to say a quick hello. I showed him our house and took a safari to the airport with him, stopping for souvenirs on the way. I got to explore some and talk to lots of people. That night, Trent and I went to the movies to see "Beauty and the Beast." I knew before that there is quite a controversy over it, but as I watched it, as strong as my morals are, I had the thought that in this world we have to look for the beauty and good in the midst of wrongs and shifting values. "That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up." -Walt Disney

A beautiful message in front of a cemetery 

I love seeing the cute school kids in uniforms

A sweet motorbike/bicycle hybrid I want! (100 mpg, and you pedal if you run out of gas!)

An neat mural

 Egret and pelican

Mosquito bites (I promise I didn't itch these; pretty sure I have skeeter's syndrome. I read that being introduced to new types of mosquitoes and having type O blood makes a person more prone to this.)

Wednesday was a disheartening, frustrating day for me (like I said, lots of emotions: that's just what I'm made of, haha!) I decided to take a safari bus to Red Hook. I really wanted to be adventurous and take a ferry to St. John, just to be on the water, but I got there later in the day and just gathered a map and other information. Walking down the street, I heard some music I really liked coming from a little bar/restaurant called Duffy's Love Shack. I sat down, mostly just to listen to the music and take a rest, but I was handed a menu and couldn't pass up their flaming s'mores platter. I wasn't sure what it was going to be at first, but when I got it I was pleasantly surprised: they gave me 2 Hershey bars, a bunch of graham crackers, marshmallows on sticks, and a little pot with black gel stuff they light on fire so you can roast your marshmallows right there at the table! A lot of people -many of them happy and drunk- were intrigued and watched as I roasted my marshmallows and downed a few s'mores. 

As I was eating, a really wonderful couple who were sitting at a table near mine asked to sit with me, which I happily agreed to. The wife had offered to take pictures of me eating my s'mores before that and I really thought that was nice. They talked to me for quite a while, asking about my story and telling me a little about themselves. The husband even shared a piece of his quesadilla with me, which I thought was extra, super nice! I loved that experience, it made me so happy. I'd wish there were more people like them in the world -which I think I still do wish- but at the same time, these kinds of experiences wouldn't be as special if they happened all the time.

(Sorry for all the s'mores pictures, I had a lot of fun eating them!)

So far, this week has been one jam-packed full of emotion; excitement, joy, sadness, depression, anger, hope, and love, to name a few. Even though some emotions aren't nice ones to feel, I am grateful for all emotions because they make me human. I get really nervous, am clumsy, goofy, don't say things well or clearly, and I make lots of mistakes. You'd think I'd be used to people looking at me funny and talking about me, but I'm not because I care a lot about how people feel about me. I am learning, though, that as long as I am trying my best to be as kind, friendly and good as I can, I will be alright. I can't please all people, but I can please my God and that's whose judgement I care most about. And there really are people out there who I know love me no matter how strange I may act, who even think my strangeness is cute or admirable, who have made me feel good about being unique, who have rejoiced in my eclectic personality. I hope most of all that I can let others feel that way, too. We really do live in a beautiful world. All we have to do is look for beauty in everything, even the simplest things. It's the small things that make the biggest difference. (Alma 37:6, lds.org)

Trial and Error

Today was kind of frustrating. I was in a really irritated mood for some reason, which was not helped by the fact that I needed to do laundry at the laundromat .5 miles away uphill, I had a bracelet burst all over the kitchen, I sprayed myself with the kitchen sink sprayer and I found our stray cat curled up by my window, sad and lethargic, probably because we fed her coconut and I now know that cats shouldn't eat it (DON'T FEED CATS COCONUT!) Some of these aren't that bad, in fact, none of it is terrible but it's funny how little things can feel like big things when you're in a "mood".

Wednesday, Trent and I met Casey's husband, Will, at the airport. We rode a safari bus to what's called the Nisky Shopping Center and a wonderful new friend from church and her boyfriend gave us a ride to the airport as well as gave all of us -Trent, Will, Will's luggage, and I- a ride to our place. That was such a blessing! That was also the day I saw the Disney Cruise Ship. It was strange to see it and not be on vacation! I got so giddy, it made me so happy, like seeing an old, wonderful friend! I also felt a little bit of longing. I have been way too spoiled in my life!

On Thursday I showed Will around. We walked to TuTu Park Mall, PriceSmart and took a safari bus to Sugar Bay Resort to grab a resume. It was fun to hear Will talk about how some of the things he sees here are similar to his childhood home in Florida.

Friday after 3, I walked to Home Depot to look for a wagon and inquire about a job, then met Trent, Casey and Will at the gym. We then caught a safari bus to Sapphire Beach. Trent, Casey and Will went swimming, but I stayed on the beach (it was later in the day -no direct sun- so it was too cold for me, and there was a lot of coral; I know, it's sad that I live on an island with beautiful beaches and I'm cursed with an irrational phobia of the ocean, haha!) But I loved walking along the beach, standing in the sand and letting the tide roll over my feet, as well as throwing/skipping rocks, and running my fingers through the sand. You really don't have to get in the ocean to enjoy it.
Friday was also St. Patrick's Day, which, after some research, I realized is now more a funny celebration of Irish culture than a celebration of a patron saint. (His colors were actually blue and yellow!) I was REALLY craving corned beef and cabbage, but I had to settle for KFC, which was still yummy because I've been craving meat!

As far as jobs go, I'm still waiting to hear back from a few people. I can't wait to find something!

Tomorrow is Trent's day off so he gets to go to church with me! We will probably take the safari bus-walking is too much work, I was sweating buckets last week and it's no fun to feel gross at church (I did clean up as best I could:) Also, I get to teach a lesson in Relief Society so I am excited about that, though nervous as well; it's been a while.

Anyway, here are some pictures!

My dinner one night. I can't wait til we get a fridge and a stove! 

My home! 

A safari bus!

Going to pick up Will.

I LOVE riding the safari bus with Trent!

Self explanatory.

A couple of cows near PriceSmart.

They sell fish by the road in the mornings. I love the parrot fish (the blue ones.) Also, word of advice: ask people before you take pictures of their fish. Some people are cool with it, some are not. 

Will, enjoying his first safari bus ride.

Me, enjoying another safari bus ride!

Walking to Sapphire Beach 

Testing the water; I was happy on the shore.

Lonely Trent

Our stray kitty (she doesn't like her picture being taken but sometimes I get a decent one)

Cat pose.

Hanging the laundry out to dry.

Me just being weird. I actually love this picture. 😊

Settling In

We finally have WiFi in our house! It's been difficult to keep this updated because I don't make it to the library every day, but I should be better now.

Friday was my first full day without a car or any transportation. I'll just say that I'm gonna have killer leg muscles after a few months of living here! It's one of those "uphill both ways" type of places. There's no getting around it.

This is an idea of how far we are from everything:

1 mile to church (22 minute walk)
1.2 miles to the gym and movie theater (27 minute walk)
.5 miles to Kmart, the laundromat, our P.O. Box, Subway, etc. (12 minute walk)
.3 miles to McDonalds (7 minute walk)
.4 miles to PriceSmart/PriceMart, aka, Costco (9 minute walk)
.6 miles to St. Thomas Regional Library (17 minute walk)
2.2 miles to Coki Beach (we take a safari bus -10 minutes- but if we were ambitious, it would be a 50 minute walk!)
Again, a mile isn't far to walk, but uphill in the humidity, it feels like 2!

Friday was also my first day by myself since arriving on the island. Trent and Casey went to work at 7 am, and I spent the day job seeking (sort of), getting more stuff from the store, and visiting the library. I love the library! It is so quiet and up on a hill, apart from the world.

After Trent and Casey got off of work, we walked to the gym so they could begin a membership there. It was a strenuous walk because it is uphill all the way and we decided to walk the first leg of the trip on the side between a wall and many cars so there were a lot of fumes and hot air. Needless to say, we've learned to stay on the sidewalks as much as possible!

On Saturday, I made a trip to the Humane Society to give them an application and a resume. Luckily, the safari buses drive that way so I'll be getting a ride in the future. It was doable, but very hot and tiring. While there, I checked out some of the animals and saw some interesting things you don't see at a normal pet shelter! I also found a little used book shop and a second hand store. On my way back home, I stopped at PriceSmart (Costco equivalent) for a few items and a 99 cent waffle cone. I was really blessed to be met by some members of my church who gave me a ride home. It can be nice to live in a small community!

           
Sunday, Trent and Casey weren't able to start their shifts later or get the day off, sadly, so I walked to church by myself. I thought it would be cool enough, but it was HOT! I'll definitely be taking the safari bus for trips like that. Church was lovely, we had SO many visitors, including two ladies from another church who just wanted to see what it was like at our church. I stayed after for choir practice and got a ride home, which was so nice! The members here are amazing. I have always loved LDS Branches.
For the rest of the day, I got to talk to my family, relax in a hammock on my back patio, and study the Relief Society lesson for next Sunday because I was asked to teach!. Trent and Casey went to the beach after work, but I just wanted to relax (it was getting later and I'd been walking around all week so it was nice not to have to go anywhere!)

Monday was Casey's day off. She and Trent got up at 5 am to walk to the gym, and after she and Trent napped and Trent left for work, Casey and I went to the laundromat. It isn't very far -0.5 miles, 12 minutes- but with big bags of laundry, it was hard work! Luckily -and I know you're going to laugh- someone conveniently left a shopping cart on the sidewalk near our house. So we put our bags of laundry and pushed it to the laundromat. (I promise we left it at the mall:)
After laundry and lunch at Subway, we went to Kmart and ran into our landlord's wife. She was very kind and gave us a ride to a hole-in-the-wall place to look for some things and a ride back home. I cannot say enough how much we have been blessed by the good people God has put into our lives. Every time we tell the members of our branch how amazing our landlord is, they tell us that we are very lucky because that is a rare find on this island, as nice as everyone is! Maybe I just think everyone is so nice because I've only met the nice people!
Later, after running our errands, we walked to the church for Family Home Evening. Single adults, empty nesters, and young newbies -like Casey and I- were all there for a simple, spiritual lesson, yummy dinner, and a fun game. We got to eat spaghetti, which was lucky for Casey because she has been craving some, and we don't have any way to make it at home (i.e. no pots, pans, stove, fridge, etc.) Trent had to work, so he sadly missed out.

So, everything is alright. I still don't have a job yet, but I've been applying so hopefully I'll get something soon. It is a beautiful place. There are so many plants and animals that I love so much! There are palm trees I've never seen before and so many fruit trees, papaya, banana, mango, and coconut, just to name a few. The animals are very entertaining, though sometimes weird and noisy. The frogs chirp for about an hour before bed and we have a couple of little geckos that hang out on our porch ceiling at night, looking for dinner. There are so many chickens, some beautiful egrets, and Mourning Doves (which I love because they sound like home.) The iguanas are a little frightening (huge and look like dragons!), but they're pretty good about staying out of the way. I am a little anxious about a giant, fuzzy spider I saw dead on the sidewalk, but hopefully I'll never encounter a live one! There are cows that feed in the brush, and I'm pretty sure I saw a mongoose. Best of all, we have a little friend who visits us every night. Casey named her Pepper Jack, and she really likes to eat fresh coconut, which is good because we don't have anything else to spare!

                                                                         



All in all, life is good. Better than good, it is amazing. I know that a week ago I didn't feel the same way at all, but this is how I hoped to feel. I have such a strong love for my Heavenly Father who has provided me with so many comforts and joys. I know that others are not so blessed and I hope that I can find many ways to share what I have with those others. I know that when you pray, He listens to you individually, and answers when and how only He can. I have felt His love directly and through others. He is the only way I have made it through all of this. He is the only way we can make it through this life with our hearts and minds full and intact. (Alma 32:21)

Videos

(So sorry about the quality of these, our camera doesn't focus on its own and I forget to do that manually. Hoping to get better!) 

                                     
 

(By the way, my rash still looks bad, but it's getting better. It's kind of embarrassing because a few women have asked if I'm okay, thinking I'm being abused. It's just from stress and the new climate: I am definitely of Irish descent, haha!) 

Better

So, it's been a five days since my last post. A LOT has happened since then:

Sunday, we went to church. It's a decent sized branch with wonderful people. There is a nice variety of people who attend there, some who are locals and many who come from other places. There are people our age (in their 20's) as well as quite a few children and some elderly members, too. Most of them are here for work or school or just visiting. Going to church helped me so much. It was a calming experience and I received a clearer view of my situation and impressions as to how things can be better. A sister in Relief Society shared a lesson about the blessings of reading the scriptures. She shared how she hasn't been the best at studying, but when she got out her scriptures (instead of just reading them from her phone) and got a nice journal to write in, she felt more excited about it. I feel like since the year began, that is the lesson I am hearing all the time and I love it!
After church, we visited some of the beaches. The nicest one was too loud (they play lots of music with a heavy beat here) but the water was beautiful.

Monday, we started the process of getting health cards (or food handler permits) for work, as well as finalized the lease agreement on our apartment, made keys, got a P.O. Box, and got membership cards for PriceSmart, the VI version of Costco. Casey was the only one able to get her health card. Trent forgot some critical i.d. information in California and had it overnighted. Monday night was our last night with Cherie and her mom. We are so blessed to have gotten to stay with them. They were the nicest people to stay with! We may not have relatives on the island, but I consider Cherie, her mom, and the church members to be our family.

Tuesday, first thing, we went and got our police reports (or background checks) from the police station. we moved into our place. We spent much of the day buying things for the house, including a surprisingly amazing queen air mattress (almost as tall as a normal sized bed!), cheap shower curtains, eating utensils, and cleaning supplies. A lot of it was purchased at the dollar store and Kmart, but the mattress came from PriceSmart for $56. (I would share a price breakdown, but Trent has been keeping track of all of that.)

Wednesday was Casey's first day of work. She walked just down the street to McDonalds at 8:30 am our time and stayed 'til 4:30 pm. While she worked, Trent and I did laundry at the laundromat in the mall (because most people don't have washers or dryers in their homes), set up WiFi at our house, and shopped for a few more necessities at Kmart. We visited Casey at work and she looked like a pro! When she came home after, she told us that some people thought she was a main manager and kept asking her questions she didn't know. Trent got his i.d. info in the mail, too, which is really good. We went the ReUse Emporium in Red Hook to look for cheap furniture, but didn't find what we were looking for. We did get a microwave, though, which is better than nothing because we don't have a stove or a fridge. In the evening, our landlord, Al, and his wife cut up coconuts for us. The water was delicious and the meat was tasty! Our first taste of fresh coconut was for $3 outside of a store. It was salty and the meat was like jelly, so our excitement for fresh coconuts was put out. But Al told us that most of the coconuts sold to tourists are too young and it is sad because it gives most people a poor taste of what a fresh coconut is like. But the ones he gave us were amazing! The water was fresh and clean tasting, and the meat was crunchy. I really want to get a dehydrator so that I can save a whole bunch to snack on! Our dinner that night consisted of coconut and ramen noodles.

Today, Thursday, Trent and I went back to the hospital for Trent to begin the process of getting his health card. We had to return our rental car at 8:30 am, so we took a safari bus back to Tu Tu, where we live. We were excited because we were told it only cost $1 to ride, but to be aware that they often take advantage of people who look like tourists (a.k.a. white people like us.) When the lady asked us for $2 per person, and we literally only had $2 cash, we thought we were getting ripped off because we looked like tourists. We felt bad after we found out from our landlord, though, that it is actually $2 to and from town or the airport. So now we know!

So, tomorrow, Trent starts work, Casey will be at work, and I will be job hunting! I have a few good leads, and cheap transportation so it should all work out just fine.

I know my last post was very emotionally charged and I'm sorry if it offended anyone, but I was blessed with so many kind and helpful words of admonition and encouragement that would not have come any other way.
 Sunday, everyone's testimonies seemed to be centered on how trials come before blessings. I know this, but I needed to hear it again. I do believe now that Trent and I are meant to be here, but I'm not so sure it's for all the reasons we can see. I have already seen some of the things I needed to learn from this experience. The people here are SO POLITE! Everyone says "good morning/afternoon/evening", even the kids. It's amazing to me how people on the mainland (I'll probably be using that phrase a lot) are so privileged and yet so standoffish and here it is the opposite. This is also the first time in my life that I get to really experience being a minority; I stand out like a bright light in the dark, haha!  I really love the people here.
My first impressions of this place were miserable, but as I have been blessed with so many things -like a very kind hostess, a very down-to-earth, well-rounded, friendly landlord, jobs for Trent and Casey, helpful members of the church, and the location of our apartment (seriously, it is right near EVERYTHING we need, we can walk nearly anywhere, work, church, post office, bank, grocery store, Kmart, laundromat, library, etc., etc.) I have felt better and better and feel more at home here. I always hoped to feel this way. We still have things to work on but I believe that no matter how hard things may get, if there is forgiveness and trust, anything can be fixed.

I would love to thank all of you who have prayed for me and reached out to comfort and lend advice to me. You have helped me more than you know.

Coki Beach. Very loud, but very beautiful.

A downpour. It has rained a little every day.

A rash from the stress and the new climate. Luckily it doesn't itch!

                                               Little Caesars for dinner!

                                    Don't buy Little Caesars wings, haha.

The mall. 

                               
                                                         A safari bus.

                        The laundromat (the washers and dryers are awesome!)

              You probably can't tell but that's Casey at the drive thru window.

 Al and his wife, carving our coconut meat. 

Fresh coconut.

Trent and Casey going to work.

Giant air plants in the trees!

Walking from my house to town.

I love these flowers!

Beautiful library.